This year we have all had to adjust to a lot of change. We have spent long periods inside when we might normally have been out and about. Many of us have found ourselves suddenly working from home on a full-time basis – often alongside home-schooling our children. Some of us have experienced some very difficult changes. Adapting to change can undoubtedly be challenging, so what can we do to make the process easier for ourselves?
The first thing to bear in mind is that change is inevitable. It happens to all of us, all of the time. We just don't give ourselves enough credit for how much change we already deal with on a regular basis – and how we've already built up valuable experience and strategies for dealing with change when it happens.
Change can mean anything from a variation in our daily routine through to major adjustments such as moving house, getting married, getting divorced, having a family, starting a new job, retiring from work or suffering bereavement. Recently, we have all had to deal with major change as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. 
Change is often perceived as negative because it causes us to feel anxious and uncertain. We are out of our comfort zone and we don’t know what to do next. Change can also be positive, however. When faced with a new situation, we have to grow as a person and develop new skills. This means we are more likely to adapt and cope better in the future when confronted with further change.
Chosen or imposed? The way in which we perceive, and respond to, change is likely to vary depending on whether we have chosen the change or had the change imposed upon us. For example, we might choose to switch jobs, move house, start a family or retire. We don’t choose to fall sick or to suffer bereavement. In a workplace context, much of the change we experience is imposed – for example, we might be asked to take on a critical new project or be selected for a redundancy programme. 
In theory, we are better prepared for the changes we’ve chosen because we planned for them in advance and we prepared for what was to come. Nevertheless, we can still feel unsettled when the change actually happens because it’s impossible to fully anticipate how we will feel at that point, or perhaps we simply weren’t as prepared as we thought we were.
Dealing with enforced change, such as the Covid-19 pandemic, can be more stressful because we often have very little time to prepare for it. We find ourselves suddenly going through the so-called ‘change curve’. 
Coping strategiesFortunately, there are some strategies we can follow to help us cope with change: 

1. Explore

Give yourself permission to reflect on what’s happening. Too often people feel guilty when they focus on themselves – which is why coaching can be very useful. Coaching gives you the space to talk about yourself freely, without inviting judgement. When you reflect, be honest with yourself and be open to feeling anxious, nervous or unsure. Explore what the trigger for the change was and how it makes you feel. Have you – or someone else you know – been through something similar before, which could provide you with experiences to draw on?

1. Focus

Talk about your problems, and the actions you can take to address them, instead of concentrating on your emotions and feelings. Think about what matters to you going forward instead of dwelling on your fears. Accept the past because it’s gone. You can’t do anything to change it. Your focus should be on the future. 

1. Act

Redefine your goals and priorities to help you move forward. You can do this by understanding what your passions are and what motivates you. The process of taking action will seem more manageable if you take small steps and celebrate every time you achieve a milestone. It’s important to either write down your action plan or talk it through with someone else, such as a family member. By doing that, you will hold yourself accountable. 
Change doesn’t have to invoke a sense of dread. Aim to embrace it and turn it into something positive. 
​Finally, remember that it is natural to have negative feelings about change. So, acknowledge that negativity and any accompanying sense of anxiety that you have. Acknowledgement will help you to deal with those feelings and work through them logically.

Through my ‘fitted-in-when-I-can’ Social Psychology course on Coursera, I’ve come across some interesting research into Thin Slice methodology (Ambady and Rosenthal, 1992).
Maybe you can judge a book by its coverIt demonstrates how, in less than 5 minutes, people can accurately come to conclusions about the emotions and attitudes of who they’re interacting with. In fact, just 5 seconds are all it takes to set someone’s perception of us and vice versa. A thin slice of their behaviour.
The same could be said for our profile on a dating site or our LinkedIn bios. A few choice words can paint a big picture.Malcolm Gladwell, in his book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, also explores Thin Slicing through the work of John Gottman, a well-known marital expert.
Gladwell describes how within an hour of observing a couple, Gottman could gather, with 95% accuracy, whether the couple would still be together within 15 years. But if he watched a couple for just 15 minutes, his success rate was still 90%.
Thin-slicing is not a unique gift, it is a central part of what it means to be human
Malcom GladwellSo how do we make a great first impression when not face to face?

• Introduce yourself with authenticity – in the current situation, empathy and solidarity will go a long way to creating a lasting first impression.
• Actively listen - give your undivided attention to whoever's speaking
• Create space for others to speak. Even more important to master when working remotely.
• Be aware of body language - yours and others. The perceived safety of a screen means we can forget that people are watching!

Final thoughtStay optimistic - it won't be long before a virtual handshake becomes a real one again!

Inspired by Dr Rangan Chatterjee and Charles Poliquin, there are now three questions I ask my kids at bedtime: 
1. What have you done today to make someone else happy?
2. What has somebody else done today to make your happy? 
3. What have you learned today? The first and obvious benefit is giving them space to reflect on their day, process everything they've been through and allow them to focus on the positives. It also removes the inevitable, shoulder-shrug, “good” response to my question, “How was school today?”. 
And for me, for a precious moment, it’s an insight into their world and who they’re becoming. Especially when I get a gem from my 5 year old like, “I learnt that there are 140 stars in the Milky Way, which is also a chocolate bar."
The Ripple EffectSomething else Dr Chatterjee talks about, and something which, coincidentally, my eldest daughter is learning about at school, is the Ripple Effect, and how 5 minutes of kindness a day can begin to change everything. A bold claim indeed.
We all know that making a positive change can often affect more than just the thing you're changing. So, in the same way, the positive effects of kindness could ripple out and improve the lives of others around you.
So for me, I'm going to start asking my coaching clients those first three questions. And I'm going to embrace the Ripple Effect, as making a positive change professionally will inevitably have a positive impact on their personal lives and relationships. And I'll sprinkle it all with 5 minutes of daily kindness.
Inspired by Can you spare just five minutes today to be kind, by Dr Chatterjee

I was at the gym recently, still busy post-New Year, looking around at everyone investing time in their physical fitness, some self-motivated, others with personal trainers, qualified to help them reach their goals and push them beyond their self-imposed limits. So...

"What’s stopping us investing the same amount of time in being mentally fit?"
​In this instance, I'm not talking about long periods of meditation or mindfulness retreats, although by all means if that works for you then do it, but rather just making time to think and reflect on your career and aspirations.

​Reflective thinking
Don’t get me wrong, thinking time is hard to come by, and real thinking is hard to do. Often we’re scared of what real thinking might reveal, so we think it best to keep those cans of worms under wraps. But dedicated time to reflect on what’s going on in your life and career, what’s working for you and what needs to change, is vital to keeping you fresh, motivated, successful and above all, happy.
How can Executive Coaching help?
In my coaching sessions I create a safe space for you to think and reflect, for you to focus 100% on yourself.  I actively listen to you and we will always have conversations with purpose, where you’ll be empowered to make decisions that move you forward in whichever direction you choose.
“Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” ― Steve Jobs